First, the engagement period ("Zareczyny"
or "Zrekowiny"). The main event on the night of engagement was
the tying together of the hands of the couple to be married. There were
numerous variations on this custom, but in whatever form it appeared, the
central elements were an uncut loaf of bread and a white towel or scarf.
Because engagement was as binding as the marriage itself, it was always
done in a public act in front of family and friends who acted as
witnesses. An intermediary ("Starosta"), joined the right hands
of the couple above the bread, tied them together with white cloth, and
made the sign of the cross over their joined hands representing "the
joined endeavors of the man and woman to prepare the bread that they
always have bread beneath their hands.
Then there were the invitations
("Oprosiny" or "Zaprosiny"). Wedding traditions
demanded that guests be invited in a certain obligatory manner. First,
invitations were issued to relatives or friends to act as groomsmen or
bridesmaids. The bride and groom then went to invite their godparents. In
some sections of Poland old custom forbade the exclusion of anyone in the
village from being invited to the wedding.
On the wedding day it was customary to
have musicians playing as the wedding guest began arriving at the wedding
home ("Dom Weselny"). On seeing a guest approaching they would
begin to play, for which they were sometimes rewarded with a small tip.
When the groom arrived with his groomsman
("Starosta"), and family members, the maid of honor began
dressing the bride. Everyone would gather at the home of the bride to
accompany the bridal couple to the church, but also to witness the
blessing and symbolic farewells of the bride with her parents, relatives,
and friends. The blessing by the parents were seen as more important than
the church ceremony itself. After the receiving of the blessing, everyone
stood in a circle around the couple and the mother blessed them with holy
water. The blessings were so important that, if a mother or father had
died, the wedding party would stop at the cemetery where the groom or
bride asked for a blessing from the deceased parent
The trip to the church took place in
various ways, with the bride and groom riding together or in separate
wagons. Usually several horse wagons with stately horses and guests
dressed in their Sunday best with bouquets of flowers pinned to their
heads, followed them. pulling a wagon on which stood the driver, cracking
his whip for everyone to get out of his way. Behind him were a fiddler and
double base player playing a merry tune. Behind the wagon, on horseback,
rode the master of ceremonies, the Starosta and the best man with a bottle
of vodka who alternately offered it to the wagon driver. Everyone sang
the bridesmaids, the groomsman, the musicians and the wagon driver.
During the church ceremony it was
expected of the bride to cry. If she didn't it was believed that she would
cry throughout her married life. In some parts of Poland, the bride and
groom took bread with them which had been given them during blessings.
Leaving the church ceremony, the bride sometimes threw handfuls of straw
on the young boys and girls who followed the wedding party. Whoever it
landed on was prophesied to marry before the others. Another belief was
that whichever one of the bridesmaids touched the bride or her wreath
first after the marriage would marry that year.
When the newlyweds, followed by the
wedding party and invited guests, finally arrived to the wedding home
("Dom Weselny"), they found the door closed to them. The
"Starosta" sang a song to open up and the door was opened by the
mother who stood before the stoop, sprinkling the married couple with holy
water.
In customs that can be documented back to
the sixteenth century, the young couple was most often greeted at the
entrance of the house with bread and salt. Salt had equal footing with
bread in all family customs from birth to death. It was believed that salt
had the power to heal and cleanse, uncover thieves, protect houses against
fire, dispel storms and hail, and drive away evil spirits.
The wedding feast also followed
established traditions. The couple always sat at the table which was
located along the wall containing holy pictures. First to be placed on the
tables were bottles of vodka and beer, and the wedding banquet began with
"Zapicie", i.e., to wash down or to drink. This was done with
one glass which traveled from hand to hand. During the drinking, everyone
wished one another good health and fortune, kissed one another and if
moved, sang patriotic songs. The crowd ate, drank and danced. If a father
could afford it, the wedding sometimes lasted three days.
On the last night of the wedding, the
most important wedding custom of all took place. The custom was called
Oczepiny. It was the moment when the the cap of married woman
("Czepek") was placed upon the head at her wedding celebration.
It was so essential and played such a vital roll in wedding activities
that where other customs have disappeared altogether, the
"Oczepiny" has survived to this day. In old Poland, it was so
significant that only after the "Oczepiny", and not the church
ceremony, that the man exercised his marriage privileges towards his new
wife. The marriage cap was usually a gift to the bride from her godmother.
This cap was always held as special and reserved for wear to church, for
special folk festivals, and on her death, for burial.
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The
sharing of the bread, salt and wine is an old Polish tradition. At the
wedding reception, the parents of the bride and groom, greet the newly
married couple with bread, which is lightly sprinkled with salt and a
goblet of wine.
With the bread, the parents are
hoping that their children will never hunger or be in need. With the salt, they
are reminding the couple that their life may be difficult at times, and they
must learn to cope with life's struggles. With the wine, they are hoping that
the couple will never thirst and wish that they have a life of good health, and
good cheer and share the company of many good friends.
The parents then kiss the newly
married couple as a sign of welcome, unity and love. |
